So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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