If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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