You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize