The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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