weddingsv make me drug and hornr
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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