I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
