my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
