did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
