so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
