please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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