Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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