i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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