Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
is it fun? or sober?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
