I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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