Dual....:-)
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize