After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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