Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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