someone get that fucking seahorse.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
