Can i not drive my cunt home
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
