Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize