For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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