I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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