he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
