Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize