Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
