I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
