I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
