I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
