I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
