.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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