and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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