So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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