i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
