You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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