yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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