mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
