is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
