She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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