Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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