i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
