new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
