capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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