everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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