i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
