Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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