That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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