The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
