i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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