good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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