Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize