i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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