Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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