god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
