I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
