She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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