well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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