and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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