She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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