i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
