I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
