I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
As shirtless as possible
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Panties = found
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